Random Thoughts about the First Day of School

For the past month there has not been a newspaper, radio station, or television station in this great land of saints and scholars that refrained from employing the cringe-making wheeze, “School is gearing up.” No, school is not gearing up.  It has never geared up.  It will never gear up,  except maybe in Cousin Les’ auto shop class. 

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Homeschool, Screenschool, Noschool

Today’s first lesson is that no such construct as “homeschool” exists, either as a noun or as a verb. When your father taught you hunting safety he did not homeschool you; he taught you. If your sixth-grade teacher taught you not to spit tobacco into the classroom litter basket because your parents failed in their duty of teaching basic hygiene, manners, and dignity, he did not schoolhome you.

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The Sneeze

The dog ran into the classroom first, followed by the two children.
​“Should we be in here?” the boy asked.
​The girl shrugged. “Why not? Just ‘cause it’s a big-kid classroom?”
​“It’s Saturday,” the boy reminded her. “And we’re not even in the kindergarten wing.”

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