Beowulf and the Danish Passport Officer

From a recently discovered manuscript

By Lawrence “Mack in Texas” Hall

The clapped-out Boeing
The ground crew jumped
And swiftly moored

Behind his plastic shield
The travelers approach
He stood peeking down
His girlfriend sent
Shaking his rubber stamp

“What is
Business, or pleasure?
At this same gate
Keeping our gift shops free
No commoner carries
Unless his Rolex
Are lies
And your home address
The quicker the better

Beowulf answered him

“We are the Geats
Men who follow Malmo FF
And we have come seeking
Greatest of all stadia
By cheering generations
We have come to cheer
While they whup up on
Instruct us, watchman
But first, where is the beer?”

Answered him boldly:

The difference between
And puking in the stands
In his beery brain
Go forward, credit cards and all
Spend your money!
And then go home bearing our love

(Stamp, stamp, stamp)
Taxis to the right”

wheezed to the gate
name-tags rattling
the shining ocean-bird

a Danish official watched
their passports raised
at the naughty selfie
to his bold smart-phone
he spoke:

the purpose of your visit?
Hwaet! I’ve stood
longer than you know
from British footer hooligans
such fine matching luggage
and his boyish good looks
You! Tell me your name
and your email!
I’m off-duty in ten minutes.”

Unlocking his smart-phone:

the mighty, mighty Geats!
Malmo FF the great!
Parken Stadium
Its shining seats polished
of fat-full footer fans
Malmo FF
Dansk Boldspil Union
Where is the stadium

The worthy officer

“A true fan knows
fighting on the field
and keeps that knowledge clear
I believe your babbling
on into Denmark
Our exchange rate is generous!
while we bear your money.”

“Tram stop to the left

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